Top 7 Worst Standup Comedians

I recently stumbled across a list of the 15 worst standup comedians, and sort of felt like this was a bitter, spiteful rant against otherwise very successful comedians.  Most of the comedians on this list also are on the list of the highest paid comedians right now.  While good comedy is very subjective, bad comedy is pretty obvious.  So, I have formulated an objective, scientific-based list of the 7 Worst Standup Comedians, because top 10 lists are hacky.  They are (in no particular order):

Raditya Dika

Raditya breaks several fundamental rules of standup comedy.  1) Don’t wear shorts on stage.  I don’t care how hot Indonesia is, it’s just unprofessional.  2) Standup comedy is only funny in English.  I understand he’s totally playing up that “ethnic” act to try and get more gigs, but seriously…  That’s pretty hack stuff.  Also hack are photosynthesis jokes.

Milton Berle

This is a bit of a controversial one. Milton Berle is a comedy legend, and simultaneously a notorious joke thief. However, I’m putting him on the list because he’s dead. What do Louis C.K., Chris Rock, Ricky Gervais, Sarah Silverman, and Zach Galifinakis all have in common?  They’re ALIVE.  Dying is probably the worst career decision a comedian can make, outside of incorporating props in your act.

Arcade Fire

Another controversial choice, but frankly, I’m just not a fan of musical comedy. It’s just such a cheap laugh, playing ironic songs that only hipsters like. They are just the epitome of niche comedy, where the niche should have been destroyed by global warming or hunters.

Joel Osteen

I am a big fan of comedy where the comedian has something to say. While Joel Osteen does have a lot to say, I think I’d much rather listen to a crappy open mic’r tell dick and poop jokes. If you watch this 10 minute set, he’s got like 3 punchlines. I don’t understand how this guy got big. His bit about his wife is probably the most cliche tripe I’ve ever listened to. He’s just NOT FUNNY!

Darrell Bluett

Yeah, yeah, I know, I too have jumped on the anti-Darrell Bluett bandwagon. There’s a lot of things not to like about him, from his nouveau Blank Panthers outfit, to his inability to incorporate “men” into his vocabulary, to his topical Jimmy Baker material. But I think my biggest problem with Darrell is the fact that he doesn’t perform in front of an audience! How do you expect to be a standup comedian without an audience?

Joey Luthman

Ok, so he’s got an iCarly TV credit, but who doesn’t these days?  His whole Michael Winslow-esque “PowerPoint” gets some laughs, but I want to know where has he ever used PowerPoint that clicks that loudly? He’s acting out a Kodak Carousel, which doesn’t even make sense because they stopped making Kodachrome film in 1982, five years before he was born! Get your facts straight if you’re going to tell jokes you don’t know anything about, Joey. And your hat looks stupid.

Saen Wilkinson

I just don’t get his act…  I mean he’s just a poor man’s Peter Cook.

In all honesty, I don’t mean any offense to the comedians who are out there plugging at it, and working hard to get better. However, Milton Berle can go to hell as far as I’m concerned.

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